Ain't No 'I' in 'Team' (ain't no 'us' either)
by keslei
Summary: Life on the Milano is never boring - Peter has to admit that much is true, even if he'd rather it was a little less exciting.


**Author's Note:** I really wanted to have fun with the Guardians as they learn how to be a team when the fate of the galaxy isn't at stake. So you'll get some of life on the Milano, along with various jobs and other escapades.

* * *

Peter has dreamed for a long time about having his own crew, and now he's got one (sort of). They even call him Star-Lord, although it hasn't worked out quite the way he'd imagined it. He'd always thought it'd be more along the lines of, "Where would you like us to put this giant haul of loot, oh great and mighty Star-Lord?" (Okay, so it probably hadn't been a very realistic dream, but still...) Instead, it's, "Hey Star-Lord, hurry it up with dinner, wouldja?" or, "Oh great and mighty Star-Lord, your ass is in my chair!" or, even worse, "Hey Star-Lord, there's shit all over the head and it definitely wasn't me testing explosives in there again so I think you should clean it up..." (He'd almost strangled Rocket after that last one.)

Gamora isn't much better - she has apparently decided to reserve the title exclusively for when she thinks Peter is being an idiot. She's not subtle about it, either. "That is a terrible plan, Star-Lord," or, "Are you attempting to poison us with this food, Star-Lord?" or the latest, just last night, "Come, Drax; let's leave _Star-Lord_ to his many ardent admirers." (And come on now, it's not like it's his fault the ladies love a hero!)

On the other hand, Drax just finds the name confusing - "Which stars are you the ruler of, friend Quill? How does one become the lord of a star? I did not know stars could be ruled..." Peter has given up on trying to explain it, and Drax sticks with calling him Quill, which is perfectly okay with Peter (especially after the way the other two abuse his title).

And Groot... well, he's talking again, in a tiny little voice, but his vocabulary is still only three words. That hasn't stopped Rocket from claiming that Groot thinks Star-Lord is a stupid name, but Peter's pretty sure Rocket is taking advantage of the translation gap there.

So yeah, it's not exactly the respect Peter has always dreamed about, but even with all that, he wouldn't trade his crew for anyone or anything else in the galaxy. And he tells himself that over and over, whenever something goes wrong and he wants to shoot one of them. Which means on at least a daily basis, if not more often.

This morning is no different.

It's your typical morning on board the Milano (at least for these last few weeks) - i.e., Peter has a gun pointed at his head within ten minutes of waking up. For few short minutes after he rolls out of his bunk, things are going great, and then Drax steps on Rocket's tail, and breakfast almost becomes a blood bath. Weapons appear out of nowhere (and seriously, where did Rocket pull that gun from?), and Peter throws himself between them yet again to keep Rocket from firing.

"Hey, hey, hey - Rocket - stop! It was an accident!" Peter flicks a quick glance at Drax before focusing again on Rocket (and the abso-fucking-lutely gigantic gun that is pointed right at his face). "Tell him, Drax - you didn't mean to step on his tail, right?"

Drax draws himself up. "It was in my way."

"Not helpful, Drax!"

With a yell of rage, Rocket tries to dive around Peter. "That's it; you disrespected me for the last time; stepping on a guy's tail is the last straw; see how you like it when I step on your face after I shoot it a buncha times!"

Thankfully, Gamora grabs Rocket by the scruff of the neck before he can get off a shot. The raccoon flails wildly in her grasp, and for a second Peter's sure Rocket is gonna start shooting at anything and everything in sight. But that little bit of extra time gives Drax enough time to finish what he had started to say. "And I did not see it there- it was an accident, as Quill has said."

There's a moment of silence while Rocket processes Drax's words, and then he lowers his gun and shrugs off Gamora's hold. "Guess it's not your fault you're a giant, clumsy oaf."

Drax starts to protest. "I am not clumsy; I am a highly trained..."

Covering his face with his hand, Peter groans. "Guys! Stop fighting, now."

"I am Groot," says Groot from his pot on the table, and Peter decides to interpret it as agreement, but Rocket doesn't seem to care.

"He started it!"

"I did not!"

Great. Now they're bickering like five-year-olds. Five-year-olds with deadly weapons.

"If I had started this fight, you would be dead already," Drax continues.

Rocket draws himself up to his full height of four feet even (Peter isn't sure what good that's supposed to do when the guy you're arguing with is half again your height, but hey, he's not saying anything). "Only 'cause you're a coward, sneaking up behind someone and stomping on their tail! Face me like a man and I'll blow your head off right here!"

Yeah, that maybe wasn't the smartest thing to say, and Peter prepares to throw himself between them again. Or maybe this time he'll just let them kill each other and finally get some peace and quiet...

Roaring in anger, Drax throws himself across the table at Rocket. And then Gamora's careening into Drax and throwing him off target, and Peter's attempting to wrestle the gun from Rocket's grasp. "Dammit, you stupid raccoon, stop biting me!"

Finally, Peter manages to get the gun away from Rocket, and slides it to the far end of the bunk area. He hangs onto Rocket, though, hoisting him into the air by the back of his jumpsuit and trying to stay out of the way of claws and teeth. Thank god he pulled on his leather jacket before coming to breakfast this morning...

On the far side of the room, Gamora appears to have Drax in a chokehold, and the fight is slowly ebbing out of him. They've also managed to smash most of the furniture and equipment in a ten foot radius, and Peter groans.

"Okay, that's it! New rules: if you want to kill each other, go right ahead. But the next person who starts a fight and messes up my ship gets dumped out the airlock."

"I am Groot?" The little tree sounds worried.

"No, not you, Groot. Just these two idiots." The sight of the sapling gives Peter an idea, though. "Who didn't even stop to think that one misplaced shot could have smashed you to bits again..."

Both Drax and Rocket freeze at the thought, and for a second, Peter feels a little bit guilty about using Groot to manipulate them. Only for a second though - he's tried just about everything else at this point, so if guilt-tripping them works, well, he's cool with it. And besides, it's the truth.

"So you both might wanna stop with the trying to kill each other every ten minutes, at least while Groot's around." (And if this works, he's gonna make damn sure the tree is always around.) Giving Rocket one final shake, Peter drops him on the deck. He keeps a close eye on the raccoon, just to make sure Rocket doesn't go lunging for his gun again, but Rocket actually looks surprisingly penitent.

Drax also looks stricken at the idea that he could have harmed Groot, and Peter smirks inwardly and gives himself a mental high five. Looks like that problem might finally be solved.

Course, he can't guarantee they won't try to kill each other when they're planet-side, but he'll deal with that problem when it comes up.

As Drax heads off somewhere to do whatever it is he does with his spare time (sharpen his knives, probably), and Rocket takes Groot's pot off to a corner to apologize for almost shooting him, Peter catches Gamora looking at him like he's grown a second head or something.

"What?" he says defensively, because he knows damn well she saw straight through his methods.

She just smiles slightly. "This is why you're the leader, Star-Lord." With that, she moves smoothly up the ladder to the flight deck.

And Peter's left standing there, wondering whether that was sarcasm or not... Surprisingly, he's pretty sure that might actually have been a compliment. (And you know what, he figures he deserves it, for averting yet another crisis.)


End file.
